Third time is a charm!

I’ll just pretend I have not completely been missing in action for the past three months. I’ll pretend that never happened and I did not forget my blog is in existence. What matters is that I am back now. And back I am – married again. Yes, yes, Mr.B. and I finally had our long-awaited Nepali wedding. It was interesting. And totally confusing, crazy and different. And colourful. And full of stuff I didn’t understand. But it was fun. Loads of fun. I kind of feel glad that we waited this long, as I am more settled in Nepal now, more comfortable, and I actually have friends who could attend. It made a huge difference for me. Before I would’ve probably felt like I am attending someone else’s wedding, whereas now I got to enjoy it. It was helpful (and extremely nice) that my parents could make it as well. Here, for all your curious souls out there, photo is below.

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You must be wondering what it felt like to be a Nepali bride. Or maybe you’re not wondering, but I’m going to tell you anyways. Being a Nepali bride is not easy. It’s not like: I’ll put on my lovely dress, slap on some make up and dance the night away. Oh no no, my friend. Being a Nepali bride is the following: you wake up very early in the morning so people can start working on you – working on your thick and heavy make up and intricate hair design. You get a veil stand attached to your head. It’s essentially a tiara, but a less fancy one. It’s also way more painful than a tiara. I spent the rest of the day trying to move it around as I felt it digging its way deep into my skull. After many layers of makeup you are finally ready for the wedding saree. Wedding sarees are beautiful, but don’t be fooled, they are heavy. I was lucky – mine was only several kgs. I heard of Nepali brides wearing up to 20kgs worth of clothes and jewelry. Walking in it is kind of heavy and difficult. At first I was afraid I was going to be cold in a saree, but boy was I wrong. If I could’ve taken layers off me, I would’ve. Not possible in a saree though.

Once the ceremony begins you are to sit with your future current husband by the priest and do whatever the priest tells you for the next several hours. Most of the time you have no clue what’s going on. I felt the sun burning the back of my neck like I’ve never felt it before. It was a bit annoying, but not unbearable. After all, I was marrying Mr.B., again. The ceremony itself was fun. Games are included – suitable for the whole family. All played. Or at least pretended to be a part of the fun. Just when I thought the ceremony ended, it turned out we only got engaged. We were only half way there. I think I might have dozed off for a bit, I don’t quite remember. I do remember looking at our spectators, guests, and thinking how bored they must be just sitting there. I was somewhat bored at times, and I was the bride! Anyhow, the ceremony ended and then came the food. I do have to admit, it tasted really good after 3 hours of sitting down, getting up, walking around the fire.

The reception took place the following day. What to say? Reception was, well, reception. Lots of well-wishers, food, drinks and dancing. I had fun. For the most part. Except for the first few hours when my heart was about to jump out of my throat. Oh, all that excitement of being the bride. Maybe it was just too much smiling, or too much photo posing, no clue, but all is well that ends well, right?

To make the long story short, Mr.B. and I now definitely sealed this deal. We could not possibly be more married than we are at this point. Cheers to that – I am a lucky girl!

Partaay

I clearly remember attending my first Nepali wedding reception a year ago. I was SO excited. I ironed my sari way ahead of time, to make sure it’s all prepared for the evening. You see, I only had one sari at the time. It was a sari I was gifted by my maid of honor when I traveled to India for her wedding a year earlier. It’s a beautiful piece of cloth (look below). Currently, I am a proud owner of more than just one sari.

I am, clearly, the one on the right.

I am, clearly, the one on the right.

Anyhow, I had my sari ready and when the time came, Mr.B summoned our didi to wrap the sari on me. I was awkward and clumsy, but an hour later sari was clipped onto my body and we were ready to go. The wedding was in a party palace (a fancy name for a wedding hall with catered food) and was packed with people. Everyone, of course, stared at me, and ladies giggled at me walking clumsily in the sari. I bet laughs and giggles doubled (possibly tripled) when I stepped on my sari climbing the stairs to the stage where the bride and the groom were greeting guests. It was then and there that I made an important note to myself: lift the front of your sari as you climb up the stairs. That one has been a life savior (or at least a face savior) ever since. Upon well-wishing the lucky couple, a glass or two of wine and some mingling, it was time to eat. Nepali wedding receptions always have a buffet and people eat whenever they want to. In a Western wedding you usually commit to attending one party per day and then you stay the whole night, eating dinner at the appropriate time and dancing on cue. It’s nothing like that here. Here, people often attend three or more wedding receptions in one evening. They show up, congratulate, eat their food, dance a thirty-second ego-wrecking Bollywood number with a drunken uncle, and off they fly to the next reception.

We (Mr.B and me) usually don’t do that. We commit to one reception per day. It’s only because we’re lazy like that. Going back to the point, my first wedding reception in Nepal was exciting. There was abundance of Nepali food, Indian sweets and ice cream. Nepalis love their ice cream. I had a great time at that reception, and it got me excited for all the receptions to come.  Second one was also exciting, but not as much. Then the third, fourth, fifth, sixth came and one by one they were getting less exciting. I realized one thing – they were all the same! Guests were the same, locations were the same, decorations were the same, protocol was the same, music was the same, food was the same… Heck, even uncles and aunties all looked the same.

This is what happens at a Nepali wedding reception:

1. You come in and head straight to the stage. Bride and groom sit there, receive presents and take photos with guests. They also endure an infinite number of aunty kisses and cheek squeezes.

2. You get off the stage (hopefully with your sari still on), and head for the bar. Get yourself a drink. Beer, whiskey, or soda.

3. You stand around, laugh at some awkward dance moves until you are too bored to smile and your feet are too tired. Then you walk around a bit, greet people you don’t actually want to see, and head out for some fresh air.

4. At that point you decide it’s already 9:30 pm and you should probably get some food. Head for the buffet. There’s a choice of: salads, fried veg noodles, pasta, rice, daal, tarkari, paneer in a variety of sauces, naan, chicken curry, mutton curry.

5. You fill your plate with a bit of everything and find yourself a free spot at the table.

6. Eat trying to ignore the waiters hovering behind your back. They stand there waiting for you to finish so they can take your plate away. They do it as soon as your last bite is in your mouth. Literally. It’s quite hilarious. I always have a hard time not laughing out loud. You kind of have to do that thing where you are still chewing, trying to get waiter’s attention by waving a fork that he forgot to take with the plate.

7. Go get dessert. Pastries, gulab jamun, jalebi and ice cream. Enjoy.

8. Go home.

The best part of wedding receptions in Nepal is getting to hang out with friends. It’s always fun. The worst part? They are all so much alike it’s difficult to remember whose reception it is.

What am I doing?

It seems like I haven’t written on this blog in ages. I know I’ve posted several days ago, though I have not really written anything. Inspiration has been eluding me lately, but in all honesty, I think I am simply plagued by a serious case of laziness. So what have I been up to in Kathmandu? Well, for example, today I got up early and then sat down on the couch at around 9am. I have not gotten up until 3pm when delivery guys brought in some new furniture. I was so surprised it was already 3 pm, and in panic realized I have not even brushed my hair today! Laziness I say.

Previous days have gone by in preparations for the wedding. Yesterday Mr.B. and I spent the whole day out and about shopping for all the little wedding necessities. Had it not been for our awesome sister-in-law, nothing would have been bought. She knows all the nooks and crannies of Kathmandu shopping district, and is also amazingly good in bargaining. I totally relied on her to help us out with everything: the bangles, tika, shoes, saree, blouses… everything. Have I mentioned she is awesome? We got it all done, and without food too! I cannot believe we starved our helper almost to the point of collapsing. But she was a trooper and took it all without too much complaining.

Lovely wedding bangles

Which ones to get??? Tough choice...

Which ones to get??? Tough choice…

Other days have gone by in hanging out with cousins and relatives who have travelled from afar for our wedding. I cannot believe the wedding is happening in just couple of weeks! I am so excited, and yet somehow, so terrified. I feel really happy though that the whole family will be there, and I am equally excited about having friends over and celebrate with us. Mr.B.’s friends are a blast. It’s never boring around them. Jokes are being thrown around, puns are being purposefully used and laughs are gladly shared. They have welcomed me into their small clique with open arms and I feel like one lucky lady. Except for when we go to the theater to watch zombie movies. Then I feel like one scared lady. (We went to see World War Z, and the next morning Mr.B. freaked me out pretending to be a zombie and making that god-awful sound with his teeth – from now on, romantic comedies ONLY for Ms.Z.).

Life in Kathmandu is slow and easy, and I am enjoying it. I sleep, I eat, I watch tv, and then I repeat the whole thing again tomorrow. I love it for now because I know that, before soon, I will be back amongst the working crowd, wishing for some time off.

Marry me twice

Mr.B. and I got married last July, for the first time. Now, you see, most couples get married once, and that’s it. The happiest day of their life happens once and then it’s over and done. Not if you’re in an “international” relationship. In such union you are bound to have at least two weddings. There’s always family that cannot travel, friends who recently got babies and traditions that simply cannot be carried out in a different country. Our relationship is no exception and as one wedding was over we immediately started planning the second one. The first wedding was in Croatia and it included all the usual Croatian shenanigans together with the white gown, sit-down dinner, cake-cuting, and dancing till 3 am. Proof below.

Yup, we cut the cake and ate it too

Yup, we cut the cake and ate it too

The date of the second wedding is approaching fast and I am dedicating a greater amount of time to reading on Nepali weddings so that I am not totally clueless. Even though, I am confident that I will be totally clueless when the wedding actually takes please, because, I am sure, no amount of reading can prepare me for the hectic day of make-up, jewelry, ceremonies… While reading though, I noticed something that I am familiar with – the grooms party goes to the bride’s house to pick up the bride! Whoa! We do that here too! OK, so not totally clueless. However, there is a slight problem with that – bride’s house, in this case, is (according to Google maps) 8 107 km away. That’s not convenient for picking up the bride on the day of her wedding, now is it?

Let’s say the grooms side decides to fly over couple days earlier and bring the bride and her party to Nepal on time. Imagine the cost that would be involved in this adventure – airplane ticket prices are enormous! So I came up with a better solution. They should simply take the bus and drive over here. Why not? It’s only 101 hours, or 4.2 days of constant driving. Besides, we would all get to bond  on the open roads of popular countries such as Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan. It could be so much fun! I wonder if it would be a good idea to get an armored vehicle…!?

Just for the record, driving directions were fifteen (15) pages long

Just for the record, driving directions were fifteen (15) pages long