When I was a child all I really ever wanted was a monkey. Not a puppy, not a pony. A monkey. I always imagined I would dress it in jeans overalls and a small T-shirt and walk it around the neighborhood holding its monkey hand. I was, however, smart enough to know that would never happen, so I figured the next best thing would be to travel to Gibraltar. Why, you wonder? Well, I read somewhere, I don’t remember where exactly, that Gibraltar has lots of monkeys roaming around in tourist areas. I figured it would be cool to go there and meet a real monkey, outside of zoo. Maybe play with it for a while. Maybe try to sneak one home with me and keep it as a pet. Needless to say, that never happened. Not me sneaking a monkey home, nor the trip to Gibraltar. So I gave up on my monkey dream.
Once I realized Kathmandu is full of monkeys, and I mean this in a literal sense (take this any way you like), my monkey dream was again awoken. I was so excited to go to the Monkey temple where monkeys roam around freely and are not afraid of humans. But, my husband then spoiled the whole thing telling me monkeys are actually quite aggressive and dangerous. When I asked him what could provoke them, he told me it was white skin and shiny hair. That, of course, is not entirely true, but it got me so freaked out that I no longer wanted to see monkeys outside of the cages. We did, in fact, end up going to the temple, but I kept looking over my shoulder and ducking when birds would fly over me thinking it’s a monkey attack in full swing. I was somewhat relieved to see there were people there with lighter and shinier hair, and they are not being attacked, but still I kept my eyes wide open. One thing about these monkeys is they are big. They are not cute little creatures you see in Hollywood comedy shows. No sir, these are some big pieces of monkey ass derrière. And they look mean too, walking around claiming their space.
Usually, we don’t deal with monkeys on a daily basis. You can see them if you go to certain parts of town, like Monkey temple area, or sometimes you can spot them jumping around telephone poles. However, once in a while monkeys get a little lost and they end up in our monkey-less part of the city. And then the fun starts. They jump from roof to roof scaring everyone and pretty much doing overall damage on trees and roofs. Mr.B. told me last time monkey has been in the neighborhoood: “When I leave for work, make sure you close all windows and doors so the monkeys don’t get inside”. Yeah, thanks, that made me feel very comfortable. I went from window to window peeking out trying to see if there is a horde of monkeys moving towards our house. And even though no monkeys got in the house, day after I saw damage they left behind. I looked out the window and saw that the guava tree’s branches were all broken and it looked as if though it was stricken by a lightning. Forgetting about the monkey business day before, I wondered to myself what had happened to the tree. And then I saw a piece of evidence clearly pointing to monkeys – a half eaten guava fruit sitting on the tree. Crazy animals.